made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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