my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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