Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
