I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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