Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
