So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
