You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
