you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Watching her eat just hurts me
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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