we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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