What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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