Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
So squirting runs in the family.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
