So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I just found puke in my bra..
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
