There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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