One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
