She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize