After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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