Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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