We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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