Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize