I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
