Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
