Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i permit you to call me
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
