is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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