walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
