He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
