I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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