I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
