Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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