He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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