Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
