My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
