she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
