I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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