The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
