im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
