grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
