My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
