but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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