We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Just puked most of my soul out..
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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