My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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