The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Lo siento on account of my penis...
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize