Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
