her vagine was all disorganized.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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