I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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