you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
