So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
two words: eviction party
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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