who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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