Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Randomize
