he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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