Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize