um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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