I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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