his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
