i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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