Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Bring me that man meat
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
