Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
