When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
