dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
