$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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