That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
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