omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
