I just saw a hot homeless man
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
