The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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