so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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