I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
