Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
