I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
