summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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