Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
In America we eat man semen.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
