Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
